As I've mentioned before, TWLOHA is a non profit organization dedicated to helping people with suicide, depression and self harm. Over the summer, I purhcased a shirt from them. On the inside of each shirt is a story. Not the one on the website, a different one. And this story is absolutely so beautiful I just would really love to post it here. This story has a lot of really deep meaning to me and I am just so grateful that this organization, this movement, exists.
Love,
Liz
This is an invitation.
We started printing and selling these shirts to help our friend Renee. Part of her story was printed on the inside of every shirt. This was two years ago and her life was in a difficult place. Addiction and depression. She had known a history of self-injury, and there was also a suicide attempt. Renee was denied entry into a treatment center in Orlando and the written story was a glimpse of the five days that followed. These were her first days sober in quite a while. I remember the coming down and the feeling that she was coming back to life. There were quite a few of us and we would stay up late, wrestling with words like freedon and sobriety and redemption, wondering if these things could be real and true and possible. We had more questions than answers but there was a sense that in the middle of it all, we also had hope.
I remember asking Renee what she thought about the possibility of telling her story. I didn't know exactly what that meant or where the story would go. I figured her answer would be no. Instead, she surprised me and said some things I'll never forget. She said she loved the possibility that there could be a purpose for her pain, that maybe someone would relate to her story. Maybe someone would even find hope in her story.
After five days, Renee entered treatment and I sat down and wrote two pages. We had smiled at the idea that we didn't have the privilege of a happy ending, so we would just have to be honest about everything as it was. All of the pain and all of the hope. Light and dark colliding. I kept coming back to a title that was way too long to be a title. "To Write Love On Her Arms." Perhaps more than anything else, it was a goal. It was the idea of believing something better for our friend's life - believing for freedom and change in the face of the lies she had bought into.
We started selling these shirts as a way to pay for her treatment, and the story was printed on the inside of every shirt. We made a MySpace page to give the whole thing a home. We had some friends in bands - guys who spend their nights on stages. They started wearing the shirts at their shows, and instantly, we began to hear from people we didn't know in places we'd never been.
They wrote to say they had seen the shirts. More importantly, they wrote to say that the story we were telling was also theirs. We heard from people who had lost loved ones to suicide. We heard from people saying they had considered suicide. We heard from people saying that life had been hard for a long time. Some people used the word "depression". Others simply said they felt stuck in moments, that there were things they couldn't let go of. A lot of people shared that they were talking about these things for the first time.
Some people wrote in on behalf of loved ones, saying things like "I love this person and I want to help but I don't know how." Other's were honest in a different way, saying they didn't know anything about these issues, but maybe it was time for that to change.
We began to realize some things. The first was that it seemed like we had stumbled upon a conversation that was very important, that maybe these were things that a lot of people live with, but very few people are willing to talk about. What would it look like to be a voice for this conversation, to let people know that it was okay to talk about these things, to let people know that they were not alone in these places?
Suddenly we found ourselves turning a corner - in a position to do more than help one friend. What if we could invest in treatment and recovery on a bigger scale? Today, To Write Love On Her Arms is a non-profit organization and this is part of what we do. Proceeds from the purchase of this shirt will go to support treatment and recovery.
We've learned a lot over the last couple years. We've heard from young people in 40 different countries. We've heard from people in places where suicide outnumbers murder. We've learned that these are not American issues. These are not white issues. These are not emo issues. These are issues of humanity; issues that affect people. Young and old, black and white, rich and poor.
We've learned that America is a place where 19 million people struggle with depression, and that untreated depression is the leading cause of suicide. For young people ages 15-24, suicide is the third leading cause of death. Perhaps the most startling reality is that two out of three people who struggle with depression never get help. They walk through it alone. It points to the stigma, the shame and confusion that haunt these issues.
We believe these issues matter because these are issues that affect people. We believe that people matter. We've learned that depression is something that is very treatable. We hear almost every day from people who have devoted their lives to being part of the solution, people who work to help others navigate their darkest places, and wrestle with their deepest questions. We've learned that words like "couseling" and "treatment" and something like a suicide hotline, don't have to be big scary words. These can be wonderful, hopeful things. We hear from people who are getting help, sitting across from a counselor for the first time, stepping into treatment. We hear stories of lives changing. Our friend Renee recently celebrated two years of sobriety, and the wounds on her arms have turned to scars. Scars represent healing.
We believe community is essential, that we were never meant to do life alone. People need other people. We need people that we can be honest with, about our fears and our questions and the places we feel stuck. We need people that we can talk to.
This ending might sound familiar but I promise it's entirely new. You hold in your hands a t-shirt and a story. But this time, the story is yours and today is a day that has never been known. We would suggest the following: that it matters. That you matter. Your family. Your friends. Your dreams and your fears and your favorite songs. These things matter. Your story is important.
Perhaps there are moments you feel stuck in, or questions that seem too big to wrestle. We would like you to know that you are not alone. Perhaps we are all part of a bigger story, in this thing together and more loved than we'll ever know.
To Write Love on Her Arms is a movement for broken people, and it is led by broken people. We probably don't have to convince you that pain is real, but we would like you to know that hope is real and help is real. This is an attemot at an honest conversation. This is an attempt at real change. We find ourselves on a surprising journey. You are certainly invited. Love is the movement.
